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Relationship Advice - Day 22

You have a choice.

You can either read the reflection below or listen to me talk in the video here:










Day 22- Matt 18:15-19:12

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

18 “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’  30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

19 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[j]? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”

11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”


Reflection

Our relationships need to reflect our relationship with Jesus. In this section we see advice on how to deal with someone who wrongs us, what forgiveness is and that relationships are a big deal. The underlying thing to see in this passage is that we are to emulate and reflect who God is, especially in times where we have been hurt or wronged. In the call to forgive seventy seven times, we need to remember the forgiveness that has been given to us. That is what makes the parable Jesus tells directly after this statement so powerful. Our willingness to forgive cannot rest on someone’s sincere remorse, or regret, it can not lie even in our own willingness to forgive. It must reflect the mercy and grace we have been shown in Jesus. Our ability to forgive must pour out of our understanding that we are forgiven and that the Spirit’s work in our lives is what enables us to truly forgive. The importance of relationships cannot be overlooked either as we see the famous verse “where two or three are gathered”. I believe this is connected to Jesus’ answer to the question on divorce “but it was not this way from the beginning”. I hear this as a call back to before sin entered the picture, when relationships were undamaged and untarnished by sin. I look at the forgiveness God offers and the seriousness of broken relationships as a call to reflect who God is in the midst of them. It is not an easy thing to do and it will require more of us than we have in ourselves. It requires us to declare ourselves bankrupt before God and ask him for the strength to forgive and the strength to love. Our relationships need to be marked by the love and mercy of Jesus, and we need to lean wholly on the knowledge that we can forgive because we have been forgiven.


You are invited to pray or to be prayed for. As we learn more about who Jesus is let us then enter into prayer and be shaped by him.



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